February 11, 2011

Review: Halo - Alexandra Adornetto

Ok. I've been suffering and postponing this for as long as I could. But I can't anymore. Way too much time has passed, I read this in December, and I must comment. 

I got this book for review from the brazilian publisher, but I'm afraid I won't post about it on the brazilian blog, I'll let someone else on the staff to do it. Why? Well. My review would stop people from buying it and I'm afraid the book just wasn't done for me. I'm not the right audience. So it's not fair to the book.

Of course, as you can see, the cover is beautiful. It really is. But that's almost all that I can say as a positive point on the book. 

But since here this is my space and anyone here is probably going to respect my opinion because they know me and more likely got some similar tastes, well, I'll go ahead and say it: BO-RING. 
People, do you remember a Simpsons episode where Mr. Burns is mistaken for an alien? (I think it's a Halloween one, but not sure). And he goes all glowing and ethereal and into the woods and shows up saying "I bring you LOOOOOOVE"? Yeah. That's how the book is. Except it's not funny. At all.

Watch out, spoilers ahead.

Ok, so 3 angels come to Earth, to this small city somewhere in the USA, to fight evil forces there. Ivy, a healer, Gabriel, "the" Gabriel, a fighter, and Bethany... A teenager. Really, she is from the lowest angel "class" and has no talents whatsoever. She's also impredictable, has the same weaknesses as humans, since it's her first "trip" to Earth and just basically acts like a dumb teen all over the book. Hell, not even a dumb teen, I was WAY smarter than her at the age of 17 (which she's supposed to be), I was probably that silly and airheaded when I was 12-13 and that's IF I was that airheaded...

And then Bethany meets Xavier. And the story becomes "Bethany loves Xavier, how cool is Xavier!" because all challenges are dismissed VERY easily. Funny enough, it takes a couple of pages for Bethany to tell Xavier she is an angel, he accepts it quite easily and the "supreme powers" deliberate and say "oh well, what the heck, since they're already there anyways, let them be". Which is OH SO right considering the WHOLE angels mithology and nefilins and fallen angels and the stuff.

So ok, fine, they're "ok" with the bosses and everyone... But you know, they still have the mission of saving the world from the bad guys, in a small level, since they're in a small town, but still. And then some freak guy, hot, dark, who seems to control people really easy and creeps Bethany out shows up and .. well, creeps her out, goes after her, starts hitting on her... And all she can think is, oh well, he's just a nice guy, a bit aggressive.. But HEY MAYBE, just MAYBE, all those freakish accidents in school? YEAH, maybe since they started after he came there and only when he's around and cause he creeps you out, MAYBE you should mention it to Ivy or Gabriel who are, you know, far smarter than you. But noooo you're more worried about going to the prom with Xavier. And which dress you'll wear and if he's going to find you pretty in it.

And when he suffers a REALLY freaky accident playing some sport (I don't remember which one), you accept to go to the prom with Jake Thorn - the creepy, freaky guy. Who tries to forcefully kiss you and basically spells that he's not really human and that he knows you're an angel. What do you do? Ignore it. Don't tell your boyfriend - who obviously would hear about it, d'oh? - or your brother and sister angels - you know, the smart ones. Then when things get ugly you go and go nuts trying to stop him by yourself. Cause you're that smart.

And in the end, love solves everything in a blast - literally. Sure. Cause the author probably didn't know how to solve it... And since Gabriel the most awesomest (yes I know) warrior ever can't fight the guy, well, then I'm sure the only one who can is the un-fit, dumb, silly, teenager. Of course, that makes perfect sense.

I mean, an angel goes to Earth to fight bad guys. She ends up crying for a teenage guy. Who is, by the way, completelly boring. "Good Guy" kind of Prince Charming "I didn't like girls before you, but I have a major trauma before I met you". Right. Boring again. Jake, bad guy, MUCH more interesting. But he IS creepy, I'll give that, he really does pass the idea of a demon-like-creature-person in a school and the effect is pretty interesting, I mean, really, teenagers would be really easy to influence...

Maybe it's because I was never an airheaded teen or because I expect angels not to be airheaded teens. Sure she behaved like any teen girl and possibly a bit better... But it's not what you expect from an angel, she's not supposed to be "any teen girl" she's supposed to be smart - and that's why it's hard to have her as a main character - a main character must have flaws and a "real angel" can't.

I read people saying that it's a book about faith, about love. Maybe it's got to do with that - I'm not a religious person at all and well, love, I do love, but not that blind worshipping love, sorry, not for me, so, like I said earlier, probably the book just wasn't for me. And if you're anything like me, I'd advise you to drop it, turn around and not come back to that book.

PS: Anyone else gets the Halo SONG playing on their head everytime they read the word Halo? (yes, the Glee version, of course)