Jass Richards wrote the funniest book I ever read. And I can say that because I have NEVER ever laughed out loud literally with a book. And with This Will Not Look Good on My Resume I did. I laughed and people came asking me what was happening and I told them and they laughed too.
Or they were Mary Margaret. She heard a voice in her head. It was God. So the staff thought she was crazy. I thought they were jealous. Or just as crazy. And I told them so at the next staff meeting.
“You all believe in God?” I asked, by way of explanation.With very snarky and acid remarks, Brett (a very strong willed woman) keeps getting fired. But hey, at least she has fun. She has the most awful jobs, on the weirdest places - but's not because she can't get a better one, she's got a double degree in Philosophy and English... But her personality sort of won't let her be quiet - and that gets her fired continuously.My favorite job was the one I quoted above, the psychiatric facility... And dog walking. At least that one she was good at, no people. The least favorite was the Europe trip, it got a bit repetitive eventually.
Of course. Nods and murmurs of assent all round.
“And you pray?”
Yes, indeed they did.
“But none of you hears voices, none of you hears God.”
No, we do not, of course not.
“So you spend your time—some of you, your life—talking to a god that doesn’t ever talk back. And,” I continued, “you don’t really expect him to.”
Brett is a feminist canadian stubborn woman who doesn't hesitate in telling people her opinions - about anything and everything. She hates men. She believes - and I must agree - that it's their fault women are the way they are today (dumb as a doorknob) and that they're just DOING IT ALL WRONG. Sure, Brett WAY overreacts all the time. She exaggerates on her opinions, but's just for comedy's sake and to illustrate things we can't usually see if it's not overreacted.
Her remarks about life and the stupid things we do on a daily basis without noticing are really funny, the way she says those things that we are desperate to say (and our "shoulda said or shoulda done") just puts a smile on your face.
While it is highly recommended for people with a dark sense of humor, feminists, guys who like to laugh at themselves or people who just enjoy life laughing at and with it, it is REALLY NOT recommended for people who take life seriously, get offended at things or, for some unknown reason, can't understand irony.
I can't describe how hilarious this is, so I'll leave you with a few quotes:
"Y'know why women can't play poker?" Mac asked, smiling nastily at me, rubbing in the exclusion. "They're no good at bluffing."
Hm. "Guess you've never had sex with a woman then, eh?"
But in Paris, cars always have the right of way. Even if the little green man in the light says it's okay to cross. Actually in Paris the little green man says "Okay-you can try-"
Florence is rather like Paris in its attitude toward pedestrians, because in Italy there are no sidewalks at all. Well, there are - but apparently they're for the cars.
At another company, temping as a lobby receptionist, I replaced all the goldfish in the ellegantly labelled 'Corporate Pond'. With piranha. (Though strictly speaking, I guess, 'replaced' isn't quite accurate)
You can buy This Will Not Look Good on My Resume with free shipping worldwide at the Book Depository: TWNLGOMR
Also, available in Kindle* and on Smashwords
(for the price of a box of crackers)
Also available in print at Amazon
(for under ten bucks)